Friday, December 19, 2014

#MistletoeHop, #Giveaways, and Holiday Answering Machine Messages! #MFRWAuthor #ASMSG

Christmas is coming, and The Maze has
decked its halls with the Mistletoe Hop!

Every author on this list is doing a giveaway,
and mine has several facets!

I'm rather famous in these parts for having a singing answering-machine message just about year-round, and my annual Christmas selection that I've used for more than a decade, Dashing to the Mall, is my favorite. However, just to liven things up—and because I was in a festive mood while driving home from the faculty party this evening—I've added a few more to my repertoire. Feel free to use these for yourself; no crediting necessary!

I won't bother to identify the tunes; you'll get the gist soon enough, I'm sure. :D
Leave a comment about your favorite message on my list, suggest improvements or ideas, or even contribute a new one. I'll draw one winner at random from the comments for an e-copy of any of my novels!

Outgoing Message #1: I'm Dreaming of a Solicitation-free Christmas
I'm dreaming of a solicitation-free Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the message light glistens,
And children listen
To hear grandparents who love them so.
I'm dreaming of a solicitation-free Christmas
With every Christmas card I see!
Leave your name and number for me,
And may all your messages be scam-free.
Mood: Wistful

Outgoing Message #2: Hark, the Herald Voice-mail Sings!
Hark, the herald voice-mail sings!
How do I work this newfangled thing?
Where's the booklet that I filed?
God, where is my genius child?
He's the one who set this up!
I'll be lucky if I stop
It, to hear your message repeat;
Hopefully I won't press delete.
Leave your name & phone, and pray
That I will call you back today!
Mood: Frustrated but determined

Outgoing Message #3: Deck the Halls Now
Deck the halls now; don't be lazy!
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Leave your message; don't be hazy!
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Your fine words will give me pleasure,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la!
And I'll call you at my leisure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Mood: Festive

Outgoing Message #4: God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlefolk
God rest ye, merry gentlefolk,
And be ye full of cheer!
Remember I will be back soon,
Your message for to hear!
Be brief, be kind, be informational in what you say,
And I will call you back someday,
Perhaps today,
And perhaps I will return your call today.
Mood: Encouraging

Outgoing Message #5: I Hear the Phone A-jingling
I hear the phone a-jingling,
Ring-ting-tingling too!
You know I might be screening a call
I'm receiving from you.
So leave your name and number
While I decide what to do,
Because it's lovely weather
To play this phone-tag with you!
Mood: Snarky but honest

Outgoing Message #6: Dashing to the Mall
Dashing to the mall in my beat-up Chevrolet
Made me miss the call you placed to me today.
I went out for a ride, some presents for to buy,
But when I got outside I found the traffic inching by.
Oh! I'm not home, please don't groan, I will be right back!
Leave your phone at the tone so your message I won't lack!
Mood: Breathless

In celebration of this month's e-book release of Liberty, I am giving away:

And for more chances to win all month, you are invited to...
— Add me as a Favorite Author on
— Join my Street Team, Kim's All-Stars 
— Follow me on Twitter
— Add me to Google+
— Subscribe to my YouTube channel
— Leave a comment on any page of The Maze, especially if you have done the Amazon, Twitter, and/or YouTube follow
...and each action this month is good for one chance to win an e-book copy of Liberty. Please enter often, and good luck!

And for more #MistletoeHop fun:

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE where all of the #MistletoeHop authors are advertising our books and posts; please invite your friends!

Grand Prize Rafflecopter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

#MistletoeHop Participants

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